Beng ba maikutlo

Possession of emotions is the ability to evoke the desired emotion in oneself, hold it and remove it when it is no longer needed. This is one of the components of emotion management.

When they say about a person: “He knows how to control himself!”, They usually mean How long he knows how to control his emotions. Mastery of emotions is not just the ability to hide your anger or calmly step into danger. It is also the ability to sincerely smile towards someone who is gloomy, the ability to be a warm sun for tired people around or to cheer up with your energy everyone who has blossomed or relaxed.

For many people, the control of emotions is as natural as the control of arms or legs, and they do it without any special techniques↑.

What techniques do you use to raise your right hand? To keep her up? To put her down?

In fact, the naturalness of possession, even with arms and legs, even with emotions, is not entirely natural. Small children initially do not know how to control their hands, and when a child accidentally hits himself in the face with his hand, he considers with interest: what is it that hits him? Children learn to control their own hands according to all the rules of learning, although they are not aware of the techniques used.

But when Milton Erickson received paralysis and was deprived of the ability to control his arms and legs, he restored this ability for several years using special techniques. When I restored it, I taught my hands and legs to obey myself — over time, I began to use them again naturally, without techniques.

In summary: the apparent naturalness of the possession of emotions hides a time when emotions did not obey us, and they could only be controlled “artificially”, using special techniques and techniques.

Emotion control criteria

The criteria for mastery of emotions are apparently as general as the criteria for mastery of arms and legs.

It seems that everyone controls their hands, but there are hands that are dexterous and crooked, awkward, when a person seems to control his hands, but everything falls out of his hands and he touches everything with them … Athletes and dancers have more coordinated hands than those who play sports and did not dance. At the same time, even if the athlete himself is offered to raise his hands and hold them, and then put a 500 kg barbell on his hands, most likely he will lower his hands — he will not withstand the load.

Also with emotions. Someone owns his emotions easily, skillfully and deftly, and someone with delays and so crookedly that his joy makes him sick. Emotionally trained people have more precise and beautiful emotions than those who have not. At the same time, if even the most trained person is put in a situation of constant and intense stress, hit both on the body and on emotionally difficult points, then, most likely, his emotional state will be knocked down.

Everything is like in life.

Mastering the art of mastering emotions

​​​​​​​Children first learn to master their innate emotions (a complex of animation, discontent, anger …), later, especially intensively from 2 to 5 years old, they master the main arsenal of social emotions living in a culture (shyness, resentment, confusion, frustration , despair, horror …). There are two different processes going on. On the one hand, there is a constant honing of skills, enrichment of the emotional palette, acquaintance with higher emotions and feelings (gratitude, love, tenderness). On the other hand, starting from the age of 5, children begin to develop the opposite trend, namely the gradual degradation of the art of controlling their emotions. Children learn to freely start and stop their emotions, teach themselves to shift the responsibility for the emergence of emotions and feelings to actions and surrounding and external circumstances, their emotions become an involuntary reaction to what is happening in their lives. Why, why? See →

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